All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
