what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
