I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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