found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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