Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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