it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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