took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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