LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
