Can i not drive my cunt home
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
