OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
