I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize