I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
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that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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