Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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