Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
