question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
