you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
