I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
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Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
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What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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