I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
