Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
