Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
So squirting runs in the family.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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