If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize