Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
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It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
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I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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