last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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