I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
You're so nebulous sometimes
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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