If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night