a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
