He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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