The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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