Apparently you make a good broom.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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