Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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