I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
