It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
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