dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
