you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
