upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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