Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
