You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
