I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
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He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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