He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
