mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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