then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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