hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
