I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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