she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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