That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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