Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
