He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.