just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I'm eating all of the evidence.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.