I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
They have beer where we have blood.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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