he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize