you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
