btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i wish my penis had a tongue
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
