Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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