Buhtt sex?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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