bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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