my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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