not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
