I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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