I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
