never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
