the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
not ubering you a puppy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
He's on the porch naked. Help.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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