no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
your parents love me but you hate me
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
