Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
