i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
