I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Randomize
