3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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