Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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