In the future we'll all be gay
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
