umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Randomize
