you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Randomize
